You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
