ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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