I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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