Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
