Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
