You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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