Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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