elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
