Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
