So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
