The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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