Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Vodka?
Forever.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
