When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
