I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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