He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
