Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have fence marks all over my body
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
