pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize