Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ladiesispimpstoo hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.

Fav 60 1666 2816
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna

Fav 7 2006 2819
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(989): View more from Michigan

I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.

Fav 60 934 4238
share tweet
(818): View more from California

don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.

Fav 24 3854 915
share tweet
(235): View more from

I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.

Fav 55 2592 6973
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life

Fav 16 5036 1199
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.

Fav 11 1323 2160
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.

Fav 5 411 635
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(239): View more from Florida

I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.

Fav 0 20 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT