She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
