Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
