God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
