I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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