If i could tip my vagina, i would.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
