I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
