we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
