also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
