All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
