i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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