8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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