I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
