You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize