Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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