I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
