Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
