My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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