If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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