She's JV to your varsity
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize