One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
