God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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