You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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