you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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