I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we're chasing vodka with high fives
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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