you win again, gameday.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
