You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
