Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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