i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
