my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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