yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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