I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
