I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
