How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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