Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
