I need help removing her.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
