i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
