I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
