There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
