she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
