Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I've blown a few things in my day
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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