they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
