woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
