come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
